Change is a lot easier when there are examples to follow...

Today's work environment is increasingly complex. Leaders need skill sets not traditionally offered in undergraduate and even graduate curricula.  Furthermore, they need to update and refresh these skills quarterly, monthly, and even weekly to keep pace with a rapidly changing business culture. Providing a personal leadership coach is one way to help the key people in your organization overcome the challenges they encounter every day.

Every individual brings with them certain passions and talents, and the job of a leadership coach is to align these with the vision and goals of your team. Offering a forum for sharing best practices and gaining a solid set of leadership skills is seen as a benefit to both emerging and seasoned leaders within your organization.

Leadership coaching workshops/sessions assists in five main areas:

Communication Skills

The ability to persuade others through media or presentation is natural for some and acquired for others. In both cases, being able to calmly and clearly explain an idea is a skill that can be enhanced through practice and self-analysis.

Adaptability

Sometimes an organization's most seasoned employees suffer from being set in their ways and resistant to change. The best way to overcome this is by modeling adaptability: When the leader shows an ability to learn, grow, and stretch, even dug-in employees will try to follow suit.

Problem-Solving

Within the chaos of every problem is a solution that can make your organization even better. “Focus on the opportunity, not the problem” is the message that best serves the emerging and veteran leaders of today’s rapidly changing business environments. This begins with a positive attitude but also involves the willingness to see problems as they really are in order to develop solutions that will work.

Critical Observation

Data is very useful in pointing out blind spots and informing organizations of possible areas of improvement. Coaching helps take this idea further by asking and giving guidance around questions like “How do I best communicate to my staff the changes that are needed? What does my staff need from me to make these changes feasible? How do I get them to buy in to change rather than resisting it?"

Conflict Resolution

The effective leader must be able to recognize conflicts that are impeding smooth functioning and negotiate win-win solutions. Often this requires understanding the personalities involved and how they relate to each other.  A good coach assists in attaining the vital skill of holding multiple perspectives while staying on-course toward goal achievement.

Look for the win/win!
 
So, I’m playing Monopoly with my daughter last night.  She thinks the shoe is the best token when everyone knows it’s the car. We’re playing a version of the game where all taxes go under the Free Parking space and are won by anyone landing on the spot. The pot rose to over $1500 and the object of the game shifted from purchasing properties to being the first to land on the Free Parking space. I was down to my last $6, just visiting in jail, and needed to roll a 10. I rolled a 3 – Craps! Now it’s her turn. She’s on Electric Company and needs the magic 8… Cha-Ching! – A 5 on one die and a 3 on the other. With no buildings yet on the board, she could have purchased several hotels and likely won the game very easily. With a quizzical look on my face I asked her why she wasn’t doing that. Her answer -  “I just like playing with you, Daddy.”
 
Look for the win/win.

Tip:  Make 2011 the year you win by helping others win!

Most of us are natural caretakers. We do a great job of assisting and loving those around us. However, we sometimes fall short when it comes to taking good care of ourselves. We exert our energies giving to our kids, our jobs, our partners, and others. Then, at the end of the day, we have nothing left for us. If this goes on for too long, we can begin to experience our lives as less than fulfilling.

Recently, more and more of us are opening to the idea of prioritizing our health through radical self-care and self-love. If this sounds selfish, it's only because we've been conditioned to value the needs of others over our own. But consider for a moment that being run down, exhausted, and stressed out lessens our ability to take care of other people. So taking good care of ourselves is actually a very generous act.

Following are some great ways to care for your spirit:

• Daily time alone, reflecting on where we’ve been, where we are now, and where we want to go in our lives is great. It allows us to make contact with our spirits and listen deeply to our own truth. It helps us calm our internal fears and thought-produced problems. Jotting down our thoughts during this time makes this activity even more powerful!
• Hiking and spending time in nature is another powerful way to connect to our spirits. Breathing fresh air while taking in the beauty of our natural world does a great deal to calm the mind and heal the soul. The physical exercise is an additional bonus.
• Reading great books or listening to audio on the issues of spirituality and personal growth is yet another way to get stronger and move more consistently toward the life you desire.

Engage or re-engage in some of these nurturing activities. As you move forward on this path, you will notice that that the constant chatter in your head will be quieted, and as a result you have more patience for others. You will begin putting yourself first in an unapologetic way, with the understanding that the healthier you are, the more positively you affect the people around you.

Back in the day, I remember the kids in my neighborhood building a dirt ramp and jumping as far as possible with our bicycles. We would measure the distance by placing a small twig where the back wheel landed. Our goal was to “set the new mark” by jumping past the twig. The first couple of days saw frequent jumps pass the mark – sometimes by an inch, sometimes a half-inch. We soon hit a plateau and were no longer able to jump past the mark. Later, a kid from another neighborhood asked if he could jump on our ramp. We all watched in amazement as he flew past our twig by at least two feet.
 
Do I need to tell you what happened next? We were immediately able to jump further now that we knew that it was possible – our expectations had changed!
 
So it is with the important aspects of our lives. We can keep our momentum moving forward by expecting better jobs, more money, a thriving relationship with our partner, good health, warm friendships, and more time for leisure. Expand your expectations and give yourself permission to do what you want with your life. “Set a new mark” and begin taking meaningful steps toward your goals.
 
Need ideas? Give yourself the gift of a free coaching session today!

I

But then I place one end of the plank on the top of a 20-story building, and the other end on the top of an adjacent 20-story building – I place a small rock on the $20 bill in case there is a slight breeze. Now I ask you to walk the plank just as before. Would you do it? Not on your life! But what has changed? The task is exactly the same. Fear takes over and makes something that used to be easy nearly impossible to achieve.

So it is with the things and situations that we want in our lives. If we are honest with ourselves, we know we can do it. However, when it comes to achieving a goal, we often focus more on the possibility of failure than the actual goal, making it almost impossible to achieve. We must train ourselves to focus exclusively on what we want – not on what we don’t want. “I want to speak up at work” vs.” I don’t want to look silly for saying what I feel.” “I want a trusting relationship” vs. “I don’t want my partner to cheat.” In the beginning this takes a lot of practice and support, but you can do it. I believe that you can have anything that you can imagine.

Two more gut wrenching, leg quivering miles to the "Cables." To this point you've worked very hard to overcome physical limitation. Now you have to face some serious fear. The "Cables" run up a sheer face of the mountain. You're not great with heights. It's a 45 to 50 degree angle, but at times you can swear that it's more like 75 degrees. You're thinking, I didn't come this far to turn back now - you'd truly rather die on the side of this mountain than to turn around and cower home (Well, maybe not that extreme, but close). So you take the cables into your gloved hands and begin ascending. No one's talking on the cables. It's well understood that if you let go, or have a severe leg cramp, you're dead. Someone ahead of you loses a shoe. You're terrified by the way that shoe tumbles down the mountain. Several people decide to turn around and go back down at this point. Unfortunately, there is only one way up and one way down. So, climbers in both directions have to share the precious cables. You decide to continue and focus on the task of putting one foot in front of the other. You made it! You made it to the top of the world famous Half Dome.

At the top there is no ethnicity, no gender, no age or any other difference - only deep respect and heartfelt admiration for the other humans willing to go. Lots of tears at the top - lots of quiet contemplation, and, the most beautiful sight you've ever seen in your life. You cry hard and stay for about an hour of awe inspiring views and powerful spiritual space.

Now you're on top of Half Dome, completely exhausted, legs quivering and cramping severely. Worst of all, you just let the very last drop of your water hit your tongue. All of this would not be so bad if you were already back at the car. However, you've got to climb back down 9 miles of absolute gruel.

Going down the cables is worse than going up because you're forced to look down at your fear. 4 miles into the return trip, severe dehydration symptoms humble you enough to ask a fellow hiker for water. You now understand why water is the most precious thing ever in the history of all of life, and all of the lives before that. You say to the fellow hiker, "I have $150 in my wallet right now. I'll give it to you for one small swallow of your water." Of course they do not take the money and give you about 8 oz. of water - enough to make it down to the river stream. You know you should not drink the unfiltered river water but figure stomach cramps and diarrhea would be preferable to passing out from dehydration and being eaten by some of the local bears. You dip your towel into the cool river and suck on the moisture the rest of the way back down. Incredible! Back at the car, you whisper to yourself, "If I can do that, I can do anything."

Whether or not you've hiked Half Dome you can relate to this story. We've all had times in our lives in which we've had to hang in there and push through extreme fatigue and fear. Those were also times when we felt most alive and invigorated.

Maybe you're in the midst of something very challenging right now. Maybe you're battling through a health crisis, or the health crisis of a loved one. Maybe you're fighting for a relationship that is important to you. Maybe you're striving for success in your job, business or your classes at school. Whatever the case, you can do it. I know you can do it! Just believe in yourself, get help where you need it, and keep putting one foot in front of the other.